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The Story of Your Life

Updated: Mar 10

We write the story of our lives as we go through life.  Most people are not aware that we are doing this because we tend to think that “life happens to us.” In the book The Power of Story by Jim Loehr he says: “the story you tell yourself about yourself is the most important story of your life.”  This quote reminds me every day to pay attention to the story I am telling myself about myself.  I have come to the realization that if I don’t like the story I am telling myself, I CAN change it! However, this is not easy task because my mind seems to want to hold on tight to my old stories of negative events that happened or what others may have done to me.

I am very fortunate that in my line of work as a therapist and life coach, I remind people to pay attention to the story they are telling themselves every day and that in turn helps me remember and listen to my stories.  In cognitive behavioral therapy, we learn that we feel the way we think, and if that we change our thoughts, we can change the way we feel. I have been blessed to come across many wonderful authors that have helped me create the story of the life I want vs. being focused on the old pain and suffering.

Creating the life you want takes work, commitment, and perseverance.  You will get the pay off but just like the gold medalist you have work for it.  The work piece, I have learned, it is not so much about the physical work as much as it is the mental work.  Your outlook on life must be related to where you are going, not where you are.  We human struggle to get out of where we are and put ourselves on the path that will takes us where we want to be.

Where and how do you begin to change our story to create the life you want?  You can begin by taking inventory of where you are right now by looking at all the aspects of your life:  Health and wellness, professional/work path, finances, relationships, play and fun, and spirituality and give it a number in a scale from 1 (low level of satisfaction)-10 (high level of satisfaction).  Next, write on a piece of paper what your ideal life would look like in each of these areas.  Write it in the present tense as if it had already happened.  Notice how you feel, make adjustments and changes until your story feels good inside your body.  Ask yourself if the new story is taking you where you want to go, is it realistic and does it give you hope? Next, ask yourself what steps, or action items you need to focus on to get a little closer to your new story.  Make a list with paper and pen, if you cannot see it in black and white it doesn’t exist. Next, execute your action items.  Do this 5 days a week for a whole year and you will see changes that will bring more happiness, success, and balance into your life.

Writing your new story can be empowering and liberating but also challenging and scary, and sometimes, painful, but I feel it is all worth it.  When I die, I want to feel I gave my best to my life’s journey.  I want to encourage you to go ahead and create a great story for yourself, you deserve it!


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