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When Life Falls Apart

Updated: Mar 10

The past seven years of my life, I have been put to the test through a variety of challenges that I never thought I was going to have to face in my life time.  Everything I thought I had secured or taken care of has fallen into pieces in one way or another.  I am a driven, with a clear life’s purpose, and I believe that I can achieve what I want.  However, the longer I live, the more I realize that there is a higher power that is also running my life.  In my old country we have a saying: “Man proposes, and God disposes.” Even though I have heard this quote since I was a little child, I didn’t surrender to this truth.  The painful lessons that I have gone through are bringing me closer to God and inviting me to allow Him to lead the way.

When our life begins to crumble, we feel lost, alone, sad, angry, depressed and anxious.  We are so lost in our suffering that cannot see the gifts that are being given to us.

When I was younger, I wanted to avoid suffering and cling to the good things in my life.  I let my ego convince me that I could do just that.  Life and God had a different plan for me, I am beginning to see it.  Through all the pain and suffering I have had, I have learned beautiful things and realized that my spirituality has grown and deepen by leaps and bounds.  In Buddhism, we learn that wanting to avoid pain and holding on to pleasures is a source of suffering.  I have also learned that my pain is not caused by the events themselves but what creates the suffering is my perception of the events.  I am learning to bow humbly to my suffering and welcoming it to be present in my life, accepting that it is part of the journey.  I am also learning to not cling to the good times because nothing in life is permanent. As I do this my heart opens and defines even more clear how I can serve others through their own pain and suffering. 

As I ponder on my sorrow, I can see that each experience has opened my heart and my mind to new possibilities, it has brought me closer to God, and it will continue to unfold my life’s purpose.  I am learning to see that my spirituality is growing stronger.  I am learning to surrender to what is without a fight.  Suffering invites me to connect with my heart where I can visit with my spirit and with God.  When I enter the sacred space of my heart ALL is well, there is deep inner peace, I am whole and complete, and I experience pure joy.

Nothing lasts forever, not suffering or joy or inner peace.  It all comes and goes like the waves of the ocean.  Resting in awareness, observing what is happening without attachment and knowing that it will pass brings me peace. 

May you be peaceful.


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