Learning to accept what arises in our lives can take us on a spiritual path that can help us understand life at a deeper level. When we have positive experiences, we accept them effortlessly, and we feel joy and inner peace. However, when the situations are painful, life altering, and we can’t understand why they are happening to us, we are thrown on a downward spiral. And the more we ask the question why, the deeper we go into the spiral. We want to believe that if we knew the why somehow, we could move forward. Often, it doesn’t work that way. Sometimes we know why things happen the way they do but knowing does not help us feel better.
Along my spiritual journey, I came across the work of Caroline Myss and her book, The Anatomy of the Spirit, in which she tells us to stop asking why if we really want to heal. We must remember that our ego resides in our mind, and it will want us to hold on to the pain and suffering and the “wanting to know why things happen the way they do” to protect us from that hurt happening again. On the other hand, the heart naturally wants to focus on the healing path, and here it is where the struggle lingers: Do I follow my heart, or do I follow my mind? And that will be your choice. Only you can make that decision. The heart will bring inner peace and tranquility; the mind will bring you more sorrow and suffering. When the heart and the mind are at odds, the mind wins. Somewhere I read that man’s longest journey is only 18 inches long, from the head to the heart. The older I get, the more sense it makes.
In my life’s journey, I have decided that my only goal in this life is inner peace, and for that to happen, I have to make some unconventional choices such us forgiving everyone who has ever hurt me, is hurting me now, and could hurt me in the future. I must remind myself of this choice often because my ego wants to pull me back into being a victim and wanting to ask again and again: Why did this happen? Or why did it happen to me? ….. I didn’t deserve it…….
As I live my everyday life, I realize that I keep receiving experiences that I didn’t ask for, and I have to work through them. At first is painful, and sometimes gut wrenching, but that opens a new understanding of the true meaning of life for me. Life is a very good teacher, and often we struggle to see it that way and to learn the lessons that come from those experiences. We are constantly looking for security, stability, and consistency. Somehow, we want to feel safe, but nothing is constant or secure in life. Change is the only constant, and adapting to this constant change helps us live life with more ease.
I have been cultivating acceptance with my mindfulness practice and allowing myself to feel the emotions that the experience is bringing with not attachment to either good or bad. I like to remind myself that when challenges and emotional pain come into my life, I can make the conscious choice to let my heart break open instead of breaking into pieces. When my heart breaks open there is more room for compassion, forgiveness, and love. In that space is where the deeper meaning of life resides.